Deep Thoughts About Relationships

When I moved back to Ireland from Dubai, one of the questions was whether I moved back to Ireland for the Ginger. It’s a question which I have pondered over and over again since then and it’s not a question to which I have a good answer.

It’s not really a question which I felt comfortable even answering for a long while. There is a part of me which wanted to avoid the question altogether, as if the idea of moving continent from a secure job to unemployment for the sake of a man is just ridiculous. When I write it down like that, it seems really ridiculous. It is easier when people start asking about my reasons for going home, it’s easier to joke in an off-hand manner about missing the Irish weather.

Anyone in a long distance relationship will tell you that it will change your life. You end up counting weeks and months, and in the end, it got hard. I felt like I had two different lives, a temporary life in Dubai and the life which was waiting for me back at home. So eventually, even with all the benefits of the expat life, I made the decision to return home.

So yes, I moved back to Ireland for a man. Despite my own personal reservations about acknowledging that, it is true. It might be one factor in the move along with several others, but it still was a big part of my decision.

I guess though that’s a big part of being in a relationship though, maybe one I didn’t get until this relationship. Making decisions together about the direction of your life isn’t a sign of weakness or co-dependence and it certainly isn’t giving up your own identity for a relationship. It’s letting someone in and building a life together with them. Independence and a separate existence are vital to a relationship, as long as it’s not at the expense of everything else.

Still there always are the inevitable comments from people about enjoying your early twenties in the usual manner of getting pissed drunk every weekend, going travelling and playing the field instead of settling down. On top of that, there’s also the little voice inside which niggles every now and again. To those comments and thoughts, there is only one answer: we all get to have adventure in our lives which changes our lives for the better. We find it through our jobs, our travels, our friendship and our love lives, and it doesn’t matter where we find it. Anyone who thinks there is only one way to that destination is blinded to the multitude of human experience.

I’m not a romantic by any means, and I wouldn’t describe myself as moving across the world for love (vomit) but following your heart is a good thing. It’ll always lead to a completely different and amazing adventure.


2 thoughts on “Deep Thoughts About Relationships

  1. Love in itself is an adventure. I think you summed up how you were feeling when you said being in a relationship isn’t a sign of weakness, and you certainly don’t have to give up your identity (although I know a lot of women end up doing that, unfortunately). Good luck back in Ireland! 🙂 (I almost ended up moving there once myself for a man, so I know!)

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